Welcome back to my blog! Here in Maryland, we’re nearing 6 weeks of mandated quarantine and home isolation. 6 weeks? 42 days?? 1,008 hours??? It’s driving the girls crazy—myself included! Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of isolating and I’m not questioning it, but id be lying if I said it wasn’t taking a toll on my mental. I’ve spent almost 1,008 hours doing the same activities: meditate, homework, eat, drink, and paint. It was fun at first, self-indulging. But lately I’ve gotten tired of the same routines over and over again— swapping wines doesn’t count as change either— and I know I’m not the only one. I’ve seen the memes and jokes on social media about reaching out to our exes during quarantine, and I’m here to remind you that it is NOT a good idea! It’s not worth the headache! If you broke up with he/she/them because it wasn’t good then, 9 times out of 10, it won’t be good now! Don’t let your mind get the best of you. If they were lying or cheating or manipulative then, they most likely haven’t changed, sadly. Sometimes, and because of singlism and patriarchy especially, women value their worthiness based on their attachment to a spouse. It’s okay to be alone and there’s nothing wrong with being single. Stop shaming yourself or feeling like you need someone else to feel whole. Remember ladies, a relationship is supposed to involve to whole parties coming together to share their individual happiness, you shouldn’t be depending on someone to make you happy. And it’s important to note whether or not you’re single by choice, because this is the lifestyle you want, or if you’re single but actively looking for a partner. Knowing your situation makes all the difference, but you need to be happy within yourself no matter what. I know you might feel lonely, but you’re not. The act of being alone is not synonymous with loneliness (don’t confuse the two!) and it’s important to find peace in solitude! Embracing solitude could help a lot with creativity, productivity, and overall mental wellness. With that being said… is texting your ex really going to help your mental wellness? Are you chasing a feeling that’s no longer there? Reminiscing? No, chances are, you’re just bored! If you made the decision to leave before, what’s changed now? Besides the copious amount of free time and little to no things to do? You’re just bored sis. You made the right decision before and now it’s time to stand on it… no matter how tempting it might be. You’re not lonely. Nurture your platonic friendships if you’re craving social interaction. Craving more? Buy a toy! (we’re all adults here, masturbation is healthy and could very well be what you’re missing from pasts relationships) Self-isolation is not the time to chase your ex. Take this time to relax, or catch up on things, or learn new hobbies—anything, anything but texting that person you know you shouldn’t be texting. Protect your self! Put the phone down and walk away sis, haha. Wash your hands, stay home, and be safe. Thanks for reading! *inserts heart emoji*
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Happy Tuesday everyone and welcome back to my blog! Today I’m going to talk about the impact of internalized misogyny. Let’s start by defining internalized misogyny. I touched on it briefly in one of my previous posts . Internalized misogyny, IM, is the form of sexist behaviors and attitudes enacted by women toward themselves or other women and girls. It can be difficult to identify IM. It’s a subconscious projection of sexist ideas. As independent as we think we may be, we have many preconceived notions about how a woman should exist that stem from societal expectations and gender norms. A great quote by author and feminist, Suzannah Weiss, reads: “Internalized misogyny does not refer outright to a belief in the inferiority of women. It refers to the byproducts of this societal view that cause women to shame, doubt, and undervalue themselves and others of their gender.” So, about a week ago, I saw an interesting post on Instagram from my favorite women empowerment page, @florencegiven. (I’ll post screenshots below). The IG page is run by A London-based artist and writer, Florence addresses social issues with unique, sassy illustrations. Florence’s work confronts oppressive attitudes towards women and their bodies, and she uses her platform to raise awareness of issues surrounding sexuality, consent, race and gender. The post I’m referring to was an interactive questionnaire between Florence and her 314k followers. The question posed was: “What things has internalized misogyny stopped you from enjoying that you now love?”. I was interested in seeing how my own followers felt. The response Florence had received were all very relateable. So, I took to my Instagram story and posted my own questionnaire. I didn’t get as many responses as the original post (one answer didn’t even relate to my post! Lol, kind of annoying), but the responses I got were worthy of a blog discussion. Many of the responses were things I’ve heard before from other women or while growing up, and others where feelings I had experienced also. Here are the responses my followers shared (I used my phone to edit out tag names for confidentiality reasons): I’m going to share my thoughts about each response my followers gave. First, I’m going to say how proud of them, I am. It takes courage to share your story. And the whole post is about taking your power back! These are things that once brought us shame, that we now embrace/enjoy and love! It is important to be conscious of IM, and to be conscious of your thoughts and ideas not only about other women but also in regards to yourself. Say it together ladies, empowered women empower women! So keep sharing your stories, keep breaking the cycles of sexism, and empower one another. “Being emotional!!!! I like to cry and I’m proud damnit ” I’m happy someone left this answer! Women are often shamed for showing their emotions! I’ve heard people infer that a woman must be “PMSing”— in other words, premenstrual syndrome or feeling irritable/angry/sad between her ovulation and her period— because she showed an outburst of emotion. Whether it be crying, shouting, or anything other than a “normal reaction”, women are labeled emotional. We are human. We are allowed to feel things and furthermore, express these feelings without judgement. Besides, crying is normal. So yes, sis, cry your little heart out. It’s okay! Haha, I myself enjoy a good cry accompanied by wings and a glass of wine occasionally. “My body. The curves & rolls, the body hair, etc.” & parts “1/3... 3/3” (all written by the same user) THIS!! THIS IS THE ONE! I’ve felt this answer personally. The asinine and incredibly impossible beauty standards that men (who usually 9/10 peacefully exist on the far margins of attractiveness) hold women to perpetuate body shaming and insecurities in women. We see women being degraded subtly in our everyday lives – especially in the media. This sets an unhealthy precedent for the idea of beauty. Women aren’t allowed to have hairy legs or armpits, stretch marks, or waists wider than their asses without being harassed by their counterparts, or better yet other women! After leaving home for college, introducing my body to birth control, and adjusting to a new schedule (one with less cardio, lol), my body changed a lot. Because of social media, comments from friends and family, and even remarks from my— now ex— boyfriend, I thought I was ugly. I thought my natural, God-given body was wrong. I didn’t feel attractive anymore, I felt like less of a woman. It took me a long to time not only accept my weight gain and curves, but an even longer time to love my new appearance. It was a journey. My journey to self-love took patience and healing, unlearning and relearning. My journey wasn’t linear. There were ups and downs and times that I felt stagnate. My biggest piece of advice is to remain patient with yourself. Be gentle. Healing from internalized misogyny will be a long process so take it slow and try not to be hard on yourself. I wish self-love unto all of the women who suffer from internalized misogyny. I wish the unlearning of sexism and patriarchal biases upon all women and girls. Forget the standards, they’re all lies! Enjoy your beer, throw away your razor, cut your hair, cry, scream, kick— fuck it, do whatever makes you happy! You deserve to be happy. And don’t let a man, or woman, mother or father, determine what being happy looks like. Don’t let them determine what being a woman looks or feels like. Be you, comfortable in your own skin. Welcome back to my blog! This post will be sort of different from my previous posts. Instead of focusing on women, today I'll be writing for the well-being of all.
COVID-19 has changed our lives forever and this global pandemic isn’t over yet. This is the first time our generations have witnessed and lived through such an event. I’ll try to keep this post light hearted, but this crisis is real and should be taken seriously. Please stay informed, stay safe, and be considerate of your action. Listen to our health professionals! (Listen to science, not fear) Nations around the world have issues quarantines and home isolations in order to slow the spread of the virus and to keep people safe. In some places, this isolation has been ordered for 30 days and in other places, 2 weeks. Regardless of the time length, being quarantined to one place for days on end can be stressful or trigger unhealthy thoughts. Fear and anxiety can cause overwhelming and cause strong emotions in both adults and children. Coping with stress will make you, the people you care about, and your community stronger. Today I’ll be sharing tips on coping with quarantine and mental health that I have found helpful— I’m no professional, so please seek further help in serious cases (visit the Disaster Distress Helpline, call 1-800-985-5990, or text TalkWithUs to 66746. Sadly, home isn’t a safe place for everyone, you can visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224). Control the narrative It’s important to keep yourself sane and calm. Try changing your mindset— I know easier said than done. But instead of thinking, “I’m stuck in the house”, try thinking, “Now I can focus on myself/on my home”. Do you have a closet that you’ve been meaning to clean out since Christmas? Now’s the time! Have a book that you never got around to reading? Pick it up. Just try not to think of yourself as a prisoner. Feeling stuck or trapped will only worsen your anxiety. Take this time to focus on yourself and really slow down. Don’t become obsessed Big Rona has completely taken over news cycles. Every news channel, social media site, and talk show host is talking about the coronavirus. While it’s important to stay informed and up-to-date, avoid unnecessary coverage. Counting death tolls and confirmed cases will not help your mind stay at peace. Try binge watching your favorite show, or try a new series. Self-care I can’t stress this enough, take care of yourself! It’s important! Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. Self-care needs to be something you actively plan, rather than something that just happens. It is an active choice and you must treat it as such. Take a long hot bubble bath. Turn off your phone, pour a glass of wine, and watch a movie! Try a face mask, YouTube has some great DIYs! Meditate, paint, listen to music— what I’m trying to say is self-care looks different for everyone. Find what relaxes you and makes you happy, then do it! You deserve it. Create a routine Routines are good! I know many people’s anxiety stem from breaking their routine. So why not make a new one? It may not be the one you’re used to, but it’s always good to try. Create a deliberate habit, and routinize something small in your life by doing it in the same way each day— pick a time of the day to get up and stretch or do yoga, or a day of the week to dedicate to cleaning. Relax Now I know this seems obvious but it’s easy to forget. Slow down, listen to yourself, and recalibrate. You don't have to use this time to try to do everything you've always wanted to do. And you're not a failure if you aren't using this as "extra credit" time. It's a pandemic, not a productivity contest. Practice positive self-talk Stop comparing yourself to others and be sure to practice positive self-talk. During stressful times like these, it’s easy to think negatively, even if we try not to. Positive self-talk is important! Vital! The way you talk to yourself shapes the way you view yourself and the world. Self-talk is powerful, it will boost your confidence and help you think more optimistically. Make sure you have the right attitude to accomplish your goals and just live your life. Practice positive self-talk, now and always. Besides, of all the people on this planet, you talk to yourself more than anyone. Make sure you are saying the right things! These are just a few things that have helped me get through this troubling time. Again, I’m not a professional and there are so many resources that could help better than I can, use them! Hard times don’t last forever, stay positive, healthy, and safe. Wash your hands and tune in next week! Thank you for reading *insert heart emoji* |
AuthorHi, I'm Shyanne Dyson. I'm a senior at Hampton University studying Cybersecurity. Between being a student, daughter, sister, friend, ally, and volunteer, you can add blogger to the list. Archives
April 2020
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