Happy Tuesday everyone and welcome back to my blog! Today I’m going to talk about the impact of internalized misogyny. Let’s start by defining internalized misogyny. I touched on it briefly in one of my previous posts . Internalized misogyny, IM, is the form of sexist behaviors and attitudes enacted by women toward themselves or other women and girls. It can be difficult to identify IM. It’s a subconscious projection of sexist ideas. As independent as we think we may be, we have many preconceived notions about how a woman should exist that stem from societal expectations and gender norms. A great quote by author and feminist, Suzannah Weiss, reads: “Internalized misogyny does not refer outright to a belief in the inferiority of women. It refers to the byproducts of this societal view that cause women to shame, doubt, and undervalue themselves and others of their gender.” So, about a week ago, I saw an interesting post on Instagram from my favorite women empowerment page, @florencegiven. (I’ll post screenshots below). The IG page is run by A London-based artist and writer, Florence addresses social issues with unique, sassy illustrations. Florence’s work confronts oppressive attitudes towards women and their bodies, and she uses her platform to raise awareness of issues surrounding sexuality, consent, race and gender. The post I’m referring to was an interactive questionnaire between Florence and her 314k followers. The question posed was: “What things has internalized misogyny stopped you from enjoying that you now love?”. I was interested in seeing how my own followers felt. The response Florence had received were all very relateable. So, I took to my Instagram story and posted my own questionnaire. I didn’t get as many responses as the original post (one answer didn’t even relate to my post! Lol, kind of annoying), but the responses I got were worthy of a blog discussion. Many of the responses were things I’ve heard before from other women or while growing up, and others where feelings I had experienced also. Here are the responses my followers shared (I used my phone to edit out tag names for confidentiality reasons): I’m going to share my thoughts about each response my followers gave. First, I’m going to say how proud of them, I am. It takes courage to share your story. And the whole post is about taking your power back! These are things that once brought us shame, that we now embrace/enjoy and love! It is important to be conscious of IM, and to be conscious of your thoughts and ideas not only about other women but also in regards to yourself. Say it together ladies, empowered women empower women! So keep sharing your stories, keep breaking the cycles of sexism, and empower one another. “Being emotional!!!! I like to cry and I’m proud damnit ” I’m happy someone left this answer! Women are often shamed for showing their emotions! I’ve heard people infer that a woman must be “PMSing”— in other words, premenstrual syndrome or feeling irritable/angry/sad between her ovulation and her period— because she showed an outburst of emotion. Whether it be crying, shouting, or anything other than a “normal reaction”, women are labeled emotional. We are human. We are allowed to feel things and furthermore, express these feelings without judgement. Besides, crying is normal. So yes, sis, cry your little heart out. It’s okay! Haha, I myself enjoy a good cry accompanied by wings and a glass of wine occasionally. “My body. The curves & rolls, the body hair, etc.” & parts “1/3... 3/3” (all written by the same user) THIS!! THIS IS THE ONE! I’ve felt this answer personally. The asinine and incredibly impossible beauty standards that men (who usually 9/10 peacefully exist on the far margins of attractiveness) hold women to perpetuate body shaming and insecurities in women. We see women being degraded subtly in our everyday lives – especially in the media. This sets an unhealthy precedent for the idea of beauty. Women aren’t allowed to have hairy legs or armpits, stretch marks, or waists wider than their asses without being harassed by their counterparts, or better yet other women! After leaving home for college, introducing my body to birth control, and adjusting to a new schedule (one with less cardio, lol), my body changed a lot. Because of social media, comments from friends and family, and even remarks from my— now ex— boyfriend, I thought I was ugly. I thought my natural, God-given body was wrong. I didn’t feel attractive anymore, I felt like less of a woman. It took me a long to time not only accept my weight gain and curves, but an even longer time to love my new appearance. It was a journey. My journey to self-love took patience and healing, unlearning and relearning. My journey wasn’t linear. There were ups and downs and times that I felt stagnate. My biggest piece of advice is to remain patient with yourself. Be gentle. Healing from internalized misogyny will be a long process so take it slow and try not to be hard on yourself. I wish self-love unto all of the women who suffer from internalized misogyny. I wish the unlearning of sexism and patriarchal biases upon all women and girls. Forget the standards, they’re all lies! Enjoy your beer, throw away your razor, cut your hair, cry, scream, kick— fuck it, do whatever makes you happy! You deserve to be happy. And don’t let a man, or woman, mother or father, determine what being happy looks like. Don’t let them determine what being a woman looks or feels like. Be you, comfortable in your own skin.
2 Comments
Zoë G
4/14/2020 09:30:30 pm
I absolutely loved this blog! It was so informational and beneficial for me to read. I can finally say that I am in a space where I love myself unconditionally. I don’t care what anyone thinks about what I wear or what I do to my body, because it’s mine to honor forever. I am blessed to be in a relationship with a man that loves me for me, he’s never been the type to order me to fix my hair a certain way or to down me when my toenail polish starts to chip a little or my legs are a bit prickly. He loves me and I love me. You have to love you first before you search for someone else to love you. Throwing away internalized misogyny is so refreshing, it’s like a weight lifted from your shoulders. Throwing away societal standards aids you in evolving into your truest form.
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Jordyn Edwards
4/21/2020 11:10:13 pm
I love Florence Given! I have been following her artwork for quite some time now and I love how she advocates for women all over the world. Thank you for shedding light on this topic.
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AuthorHi, I'm Shyanne Dyson. I'm a senior at Hampton University studying Cybersecurity. Between being a student, daughter, sister, friend, ally, and volunteer, you can add blogger to the list. Archives
April 2020
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