Welcome back to my blog! Today I’m going to go over a few simple steps that men can take to become allies to women.
Believe it or not, under patriarchy, men are apart of an advantaged group in society. In order to create change, men need to be aware of the social privilege that they possess for just being men! As an ally, you’d be committed to building relationships with women, refraining from sexism in their personal life, and demonstrating active efforts to address gender inequities at work and in society. Listen Listening to women is an easy and very underestimated way of supporting women! My auntie used to always tell me, “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. You should be listening more than you speak.” Listening takes more than just hearing the words that come out of a woman’s mouth. Take time to digest what is being said. Open dialogue is healthy and in order for women to speak up more, women need a space to feel comfortable. This requires a respectful and trustworthy audience. Focus, don’t interrupt. Don’t over-talk or minimize what a woman shares with you. Be sincere, you should appreciate her effort to share experiences with you. Don’t over-talk or minimize what a woman shares with you, this comes with respect. (Please, for the love of God, refrain from cliche phrases like; “Not all men” or “I wouldn’t treat women like that because I wouldn’t want someone treated my mom/daughter/sister that way”. It comes off as defensive, furthermore, the respect a women receives shouldn’t stem from the attachment to a man. Women are more than mothers and wives and daughters, you should respect them because they are people. And remember, not everything said requires a response, I promise it’s okay to just listen.) Respect women in the workspace Women and men often experience different labels for the same actions. A man who works in a direct and assertive manner is often labeled “confident, strong”. On the other hand, a women might be labeled “bossy, aggressive” for the same actions. If a man shouts or yells, he may be labeled “passionate” but when a women has any outburst, people often label them “emotional, temperamental” (furthermore, some may escalate to blame or infer she’s on her menstrual cycle). This is sexist, infuriating, and stifling to a woman’s career. These misdescriptions, however subtle they may seem, happens across the board in every field of work— just ask Serena Williams or Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Changing the language used in workspaces to describe women, is being an ally. Speaking up when you hear/witness sexism in the workspace is being an ally. Remaining silent means being complicit. You can’t turn a blind eye and label yourself an ally. Explain to colleagues what language is tolerated, and what simply is not (this would also be a good way to gain perspective from the women you work with! Ask them what words/phrases/descriptions bother them!) Don’t be a creep How else can I say it? Don’t be “that guy”, don’t be a creep. Everyone’s heard of a personal bubble, right? The imaginary bubble around each person that encompasses the acceptable amount of room between you and the next person? This space/room should be respected always, but I’ll give some examples when the bubble should probably be a little bigger for women.
Accountability You can’t be an ally to women if you remain silent about sexism. Sure, it may be easy to stand up for women when they’re around, but what about when they aren’t? We’ve all heard of “locker room talk” and we know sometimes it’s not appropriate. The infamous, “Grab em by the pussy” monologue, delivered by Donald Trump, ranks top 2— and it ain’t #2 — worst private conversation made public about women. Trump defended this conversation by calling it “locker room talk”. Private or not, these conversations are not okay. While not all of the conversations are as violent and disgusting as Trump’s, men need to hold each other accountable by stopping each other when sexist things are said, expressing why it’s not okay, and making sure it’s not said again. Accountability should always be applied to action as well, not just talk! Hold abusers accountable. Who cares if their music, art, or movies are great? How great can someone really be if they’re capable of hurting women? What’s more important? Create partnerships with women To be an ally to women is to support women! You can support women by amplifying them. Any good ally-ship is mutually beneficial. Men can share their social capital with women groups, especially when its in male dominated spaces. When I say “social capital” I mean influence, information, knowledge, and organizational resources. It’s important to ASK women’s group how you can best support their efforts, don’t assume. It’s easy to understand how to be an ally to women, but it takes more effort to take action. That’s all I have this week, thank you reading and be sure to share with the men in your life. In fact, share it with all of your friends and family. Being an ally to women is for everyone! See ya next time!
2 Comments
Jordyn Edwards
3/31/2020 08:06:10 pm
As a woman, I really appreciate this blog post! As progressive as women have become over the past decades, our male counterparts continue to fail as allies. I believe this will help them be apart of the change that we need to see in our society.
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Zahria Harvey
3/31/2020 08:40:22 pm
I love how passionate you are for women's rights. Often times I see women siding with men and their misogynistic opinions as a way to sort of be "picked". I hope every man who reads this can take into consideration how life changing these qualities are for men to have. I also think women play a large role in making men follow these rules because once a man encounters a woman that doesn't require these tools, he will see no value in these qualities.
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AuthorHi, I'm Shyanne Dyson. I'm a senior at Hampton University studying Cybersecurity. Between being a student, daughter, sister, friend, ally, and volunteer, you can add blogger to the list. Archives
April 2020
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