Welcome back to my blog! Today I’m going to go over a few simple steps that men can take to become allies to women.
Believe it or not, under patriarchy, men are apart of an advantaged group in society. In order to create change, men need to be aware of the social privilege that they possess for just being men! As an ally, you’d be committed to building relationships with women, refraining from sexism in their personal life, and demonstrating active efforts to address gender inequities at work and in society. Listen Listening to women is an easy and very underestimated way of supporting women! My auntie used to always tell me, “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. You should be listening more than you speak.” Listening takes more than just hearing the words that come out of a woman’s mouth. Take time to digest what is being said. Open dialogue is healthy and in order for women to speak up more, women need a space to feel comfortable. This requires a respectful and trustworthy audience. Focus, don’t interrupt. Don’t over-talk or minimize what a woman shares with you. Be sincere, you should appreciate her effort to share experiences with you. Don’t over-talk or minimize what a woman shares with you, this comes with respect. (Please, for the love of God, refrain from cliche phrases like; “Not all men” or “I wouldn’t treat women like that because I wouldn’t want someone treated my mom/daughter/sister that way”. It comes off as defensive, furthermore, the respect a women receives shouldn’t stem from the attachment to a man. Women are more than mothers and wives and daughters, you should respect them because they are people. And remember, not everything said requires a response, I promise it’s okay to just listen.) Respect women in the workspace Women and men often experience different labels for the same actions. A man who works in a direct and assertive manner is often labeled “confident, strong”. On the other hand, a women might be labeled “bossy, aggressive” for the same actions. If a man shouts or yells, he may be labeled “passionate” but when a women has any outburst, people often label them “emotional, temperamental” (furthermore, some may escalate to blame or infer she’s on her menstrual cycle). This is sexist, infuriating, and stifling to a woman’s career. These misdescriptions, however subtle they may seem, happens across the board in every field of work— just ask Serena Williams or Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Changing the language used in workspaces to describe women, is being an ally. Speaking up when you hear/witness sexism in the workspace is being an ally. Remaining silent means being complicit. You can’t turn a blind eye and label yourself an ally. Explain to colleagues what language is tolerated, and what simply is not (this would also be a good way to gain perspective from the women you work with! Ask them what words/phrases/descriptions bother them!) Don’t be a creep How else can I say it? Don’t be “that guy”, don’t be a creep. Everyone’s heard of a personal bubble, right? The imaginary bubble around each person that encompasses the acceptable amount of room between you and the next person? This space/room should be respected always, but I’ll give some examples when the bubble should probably be a little bigger for women.
Accountability You can’t be an ally to women if you remain silent about sexism. Sure, it may be easy to stand up for women when they’re around, but what about when they aren’t? We’ve all heard of “locker room talk” and we know sometimes it’s not appropriate. The infamous, “Grab em by the pussy” monologue, delivered by Donald Trump, ranks top 2— and it ain’t #2 — worst private conversation made public about women. Trump defended this conversation by calling it “locker room talk”. Private or not, these conversations are not okay. While not all of the conversations are as violent and disgusting as Trump’s, men need to hold each other accountable by stopping each other when sexist things are said, expressing why it’s not okay, and making sure it’s not said again. Accountability should always be applied to action as well, not just talk! Hold abusers accountable. Who cares if their music, art, or movies are great? How great can someone really be if they’re capable of hurting women? What’s more important? Create partnerships with women To be an ally to women is to support women! You can support women by amplifying them. Any good ally-ship is mutually beneficial. Men can share their social capital with women groups, especially when its in male dominated spaces. When I say “social capital” I mean influence, information, knowledge, and organizational resources. It’s important to ASK women’s group how you can best support their efforts, don’t assume. It’s easy to understand how to be an ally to women, but it takes more effort to take action. That’s all I have this week, thank you reading and be sure to share with the men in your life. In fact, share it with all of your friends and family. Being an ally to women is for everyone! See ya next time!
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Welcome back! And in honor of Women’s History Month, I will be writing about a woman that inspires me in every blog entry this March. In my last entry I talked about the ever-so-amazing Serena Williams. In this post, I will be discussing a woman much closer to me. There’s a tradition in my family; every first-born daughter, of the first-born daughter, is given “Hope” as their middle name. So, my name is Shyanne Hope, my mother’s name is Kristine Hope, and her mother’s name is Mary Hope. This has been passed down for 6 generations. In this entry, I’ll be telling you all about Kathryn Hope, my great-grandmother. I was blessed enough to have my great-grandmother in my life for 20 years. We have very fond memories together including shopping, cruises, and family dinners. She lived in Hawaii for multiple periods of time throughout her life because her husband was in the military (omg, she would send us holiday photos of the view from her back yard and it could’ve been a post card! Her back yard was the beach, with palm trees and a beautiful gazebo over looking the bluest water). All of her grand and great-grand kids called her Tutu. “Tutu” is a traditional Hawaiian term used most commonly for grandparents of both genders. All of her grand and great-grand kids called her Tutu. Tutu was an accomplished women, she traveled the world with my grandfather, Commander Walter Gover, who was a career naval officer. She raised four daughters all while having a success career as an economist at the Bureau of Labor Statistics in Washington DC. My Tutu taught me so many things. She led by example. I admired the woman I came to know through stories passed down from my nana (my grandmother) and through my own memories shared with her. After graduating from the 8th grade, my Tutu took me on a cruise to Alaska. We sailed through glacier bay national park, went whale watching, and visited multiple cities. Between formal dinners, horse-back riding, gold panning, and trolley rides, I learned so much about my great grandmother. She told me stories of working as a women in male dominated industries, living through wars, witnessing social revolutions, and raising a family. She stressed the importance of being kind yet strong, humble but confident, and respectful but assertive. She taught me there were traits other than “beautiful” and “soft” to describe women. Tutu was a patriot. Serving beside her pilot husband in WWII, she drew maps of bombing sites. She embedded in me, the sense of responsibility to vote— in every election. Tutu called it a “civic duty”. (If I have any Facebook/Twitter followers reading this blog, you can thank my great-grandmother for my constant and exhaustive rants about voting, haha... side note, #BetterWithBernie) Kathryn Hope Gover was the matriarch of my family. She was powerful, loving, and strong. You didn’t have to know my tutu to know how amazing she was. Like many mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers around the world, she held the family together, offered unconditional love, and passed down important retold experiences. There have been women like my tutu for centuries, offering perspective and wisdom for younger generations and shaping the world with their hard work. Honor a woman you know. Talk to the elders in your family and community. Women around you have been making the world spin since time began, take a moment to share their stories. Oh honor of Women’s History Month, Ive decided to write blogs about extraordinary women who have inspired me throughout March. Each post, I will pick a single women to write about.
Extraordinary women exist in every space and aspect in our lives. Extraordinary women are innovators, trailblazers, mothers, entrepreneurs, wives, and leaders. Some of the amazing women that inspire me are famous and their accomplishments are how I became aware of them. Others are women close to me, women who I know personally or grew up around. The first women that I will be recognizing this month is one of the greatest athletes of all time. Her power and impact has revolutionized women’s tennis. Serena Williams holds the record for winning the most Grand Slam single titles by any man or woman alone, (23– yes, twenty-freaking-three!). Serena and her just as amazing sister Venus Williams won 14 Grand Slam doubles title. She also won four Olympic gold medals, three of those being doubles with Venus. Serena Williams is a powerhouse with multi multi-million dollar endorsement deals with Nike, Gatorade, Intel, Aston Martin, and more. Serena is quite the philanthropist as well. Serena Williams is a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador. She’s on record supporting 13 charities and foundations serving causes for disadvantaged teens/At-Risk youths, Gender Equality, Civil Rights, fight to end hunger, and Equal Pay. Serena’s work ethic is incredible. She’s been honing her skills since a child, first playing tennis when she was three years old. Being the youngest of five siblings growing up in Compton, Serena has always had to fight. Her ability to overcome the circumstances of her childhood and perfect her talent along the way is nothing short of admirable. Despite being one the worlds most accomplished athletes amongst men and women, Serena is still subjected to racist and sexist attacks. Throughout the entirety of her career, her greatness has been questioned because of the color of her skin. She has been body shamed countless times, compared to men because of her powerful physique (sounds like they’re intimidated to me!), and racists have made “memes” calling her ape-ly. *yawns*— listen, the racist juxtaposition monkey comparisons are played out! To be a great, black woman, is to be faced with two abdominal forms of hate— misogyny and racism. I admire Serena because after all of the hate she receives, after every glass ceiling she has broken, she remains strong, poised, forthright. She fights for what she believes in and she lets her talent speak for her. I believe all people can learn something from Serena William. Everyone can appreciate her revolutionary achievements, and admire her willingness to help other. Women’s history month is about honoring powerful women. Serena has paved the way for women of color uh in professional tennis and has impacted young athletes around the world. Happy Women’s History month! Honor a woman you admire, thank a woman you’re especially grateful for, or just share facts about kick-ass women you know in your life. Thanks for reading! *inserts heart emoji* |
AuthorHi, I'm Shyanne Dyson. I'm a senior at Hampton University studying Cybersecurity. Between being a student, daughter, sister, friend, ally, and volunteer, you can add blogger to the list. Archives
April 2020
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